Gay White Males (A Single Story)

            With recent disputes in legislation over same sex marriage– most notably Prop 8 in California, and the more recent federal ruling of “equal dignity in the eyes of the law” concerning marriage of couples of the same sex– homosexuality has attracted quite the spotlight.  At first glance, it appears there are two sides to homosexuality: those who support it, and those who don’t.

            But what I’ve learned recently is the LGBT community couldn’t be less cohesive.  Even within the LGBT community, there are prejudices of race, body shape and demeanor (specifically against the more feminine gay males, or “fems”). A brief survey of the source of this oppression paints a single story of the gay white male.

He hates women. He is the reason women are oppressed in the professional world. 

He hates fat people, Asians, blacks and “fems.” He furthers the cause of racism and discrimination. 

This is especially difficult in black culture where homosexuality is largely condemned and ridiculed. If that gay black male doesn’t fit in with other blacks, nor does he fit in with gays, where will he go? 

 (As seen on GRNDR and other social media platforms.) 

            Yet, while he hates blacks, the gay white male has stolen their female culture.  Media often shows the gay best friend as white with attitude, saying things like “Oh know you didn’t,” and “”Girl” this or that (along the same vein of caricatures portrayed in an Eddie Murphy film or Wayan’s bros.) Some black females have blasted this portrayal as they don’t want to be associated with the gay culture, just as much as they gay white male doesn’t want to include other minorities. 

In general, the gay white male is seen as prudish and hateful. 

              Most of this single story comes from mass media portrayals and those gay white males who use sexually oriented Social Media. As Humans of New York (HONY) has demonstrated, along with other famous actors like Neil Patrick Harris, not all gay white males shame fat people, hate minority groups and women. Unfortunately, often when you identify with a specific group, you inherit their single story. Most gay white males I’ve met don’t that description, but people assume they will. 

             But keeping the stories like HONY out of the spotlight has made a detrimental social impact. Many outside the gay culture believe gays are mean – not just to heterosexuals, but to each other. Many find them unapproachable and for these reasons have a bad taste in their mouth toward gays. This perception could increase the divide between supporters and opponents of same sex marriage as we see an increase in presence of gay parents in PTAs and opponents unwilling to interact with them. It could be a new form of discrimination the likes of which we haven’t seen since the last Civil Rights Acts of the 1970s.

           It’s interesting, though, that the particular segment of gay white males, who have a major influence in fashion and the entertainment world– who have the power to shape perceptions of what it is sexy in our culture, and what should be shamed– is hypocritical in the regard of wanting unconditional acceptance.  Many women are upset their body doesn't look a certain way. Certain minority groups may not be seen as attractive because of their presence (or lack there of) in fashion magazines. 

          As much as everyone is entitled to the “pursuit of life, liberty and happiness,” under protection of the United States Constitution, the Golden Rule can’t be ignored: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” 

           Most single stories come from some foundation of truth. As we discussed after the TED talk in class, not all Africans are tribal people who come from an uncivilized world. But that group might exist in less developed countries within Africa. Not everyone who comes from Mexico is an illegal immigrant who doesn’t speak English, but I’ve met a fair share of them. At some level then, there must exist those gay white males that further prejudice and hatred toward these minority groups, women and those of larger builds. 

          If gay white males want to better be accepted as human beings (independent of what groups they associate, be they political, sexual or religious), they will need to do better to show not all of them are like the single story that is clearly out there in mass media.