Single Story: Provo Girls

As a single, 22 year old female attending BYU, I am keenly aware of the way we are perceived both here in Provo and elsewhere. Desperate to get married, and yet we treat the boys that are interested in us like trash. As members of the LDS church, we are indeed encouraged to find our eternal companions: this is great. However, it often turns into satire after either meeting someone who embodies the stereotype, or a young adult (male or female) decides he or she has reached saturation point- tired of getting asked out, not getting asked out, tired of asking out, etc. The male and female stereotypes seem to build on each other, the single girls criticize the Provo boys and the single boys criticize the Provo girls.

I think the the marriage craze comes oftentimes from Provo girls themselves. Talking about marriage or their desire to be married non-stop, curating their "marriage" Pinterest boards, etc. The above video was a spoof on Katy Perry's "California Gurls" hit single where female members of HumorU sing about being "eighteen, clueless, and baby hungry." Amusing? Yes. Harmful and damaging to the already skewed view that both Provo males and people outside of Provo have of female YSAs? Yes. I remember a non-member friend sharing this video with me on Facebook, practically begging me to tell her that this was a gross exaggeration.

Much of the marriage hype comes from married women, who feel the need to constantly post pictures from the wedding, honeymoon, or day-to-day married life on social media. Hashtags such as #MCM (man crush Monday) and #TBT (throwback Thursday) only add fuel to the fire. Granted this is for all Instagram users worldwide, but when I searched the hashtag #mywedding, over 240,000 posts appeared.

Social media certainly amplifies the perception of the Provo girl, with accounts as shown above such as "Provo Bachelorette." Both amusing and incredibly derogatory, the account shown below, "Provo Girls, am I Right?" highlights date cancellations via text message. 

 Here are two recent examples. Both cringe-worthy and humorous, one has to wonder how genuine or doctored they are.

The overall tone of the posts and the following comments is critical and harsh. The girls are perceived as heartless, insensitive of the feelings of those asking the girls out. Oftentimes people comment how "all the good ones are already taken," as if there is not one quality girl still single left in Provo anyway. I think this is a defense mechanism for both parties: surely there is nothing wrong with me, if there were people left to date, I'd already be married. Dating is difficult: something we are encouraged to do by our leaders, and yet can also leave us feeling insecure and like we are not good enough. Perhaps if some of the pressure that comes from the constant social media chatter about marriage and dating in general were to be removed, dating would be more natural, and the Provo genders would not feel the same need to criticize one another to build ones own self up. But after all (see GIF below):