The Clueless Father

He is the father who gives the baby a chew toy and the dog a bottle because he can't take his eyes off the game. He is the husband who assures his wife he can handle an hour alone with the kids only to destroy the house in minutes. He can't be trusted to stay home with the baby. He can't change a diaper or cook lunch for the kids.  He is just another kid for his wife to look after. He is a dumb dad. 

The image of the "Bumbling Father" is very damaging. I remember sitting at the dinner table as a small child listening to my dad tell a story. I can't remember what he said but I do remember standing up, knocking on his head and saying "Anybody home??" I can't believe I did that! I respect my dad and I love him so much. What coerced me to even think such a thing was acceptable? Was it just an innate thing I knew? Did I learn it? Did it have anything to do with the back to back episodes of "The Simpsons" and "Malcolm in the Middle" I watched nearly every day after school? 

Mass media is powerful. The things we watch and listen to have an effect on us. If every cleaning supply commercial shows a man assuring his wife over the phone that everything is fine while one kid is hanging from the banister and the other is dumping a gallon of milk on the floor, we might start to believe it. This is damaging to boys and men because they may see the images and think that's what's expected of them. They may also feel less confident in their abilities. Women may also start to think that theese images are what they can expect from men when it comes to fatherhood. This is a problem because women might be demeaning without reason. There are also negative effects on women.  Everything is a complete disaster until mom gets home and she was only gone for an hour to buy groceries. In a time when women are fighting for equal rights in the workplace, they can't be shown as the only people capable of handling a home. 

Men are capable beings! They can be wonderful, educated, responsible, engaged fathers, and they usually are! Commercials and sitcoms that show men as anything but capable fathers are damaging to men and women. If men are constantly told that they are bumbling and irresponsible, they may start to believe it and their wives, children and society may start to mindlessly treat them as such. If women are shown to be the only beings able to control children and maintain a home, their husbands, children and society may treat them as such. Although some men may in fact work while their wives stay home, neither men nor women need to be thought of in these incorrect ways.