Single-storying homosexual men as gay

(I specifically chose homosexual men as opposed to women. 

I think homosexual women have their own stereotypes and that is a whole other discussion.)

Excerpt from this article by J. Bryan Lowder

"One of the reasons I so dislike identifying myself as a gay man,” he wrote, “is that I don’t want people to hear that word, gay, and link me in their mind to someone with a personality and manner like...a Jack McFarland [from Will&Grace]. Homosexual actually feels more comfortable to me than gay."

Here are several "gay" stereotypes:  

1. ENOUGH WITH THE FEATHER BOAS AND BLACK TURTLENECKS

We get it, comedy sketches and sitcoms- gay people have a 'flair for fashion.' But why is it always the most ridiculous clothing when it’s a gay character? Haven’t you seen urban gays lately--they’re all about beautiful blazers, Gucci loafers, and fantastic patterns. Lose the billowing scarves, sleeveless t-shirts, and mesh tank tops. Stop making gay men look like how I used to dress my Ken dolls (I had one Ken doll who only wore a boa and an ascot). 

2. GAYS HATE SPORTS

Oh, please- my GBF went to the finals in his touch football league, can turn anybody into a Jets fan, and is a faster runner than any straight man I know. 

3. THE LISP

               A lisp is a speech impediment. It doesn’t have any impact on your sexuality--

               just like stutters or limps don’t make you gay or straight, neither do lisps. 

4. ALL GAYS LOVE LADY GAGA

There are lots of gay Little Monsters, after all, but haven’t you ever heard of a gay guy who thinks Britney Spears is this sovereign? Or Rihanna? Hell, there are gay dudes who don’t even LIKE dance music. They get their groove on to Vampire Weekend, Coldplay, or whatever. Mix up your dance mix a bit, why don’t you? 

5. THE BROADWAY THING

Yeah, who didn’t see Rent on Broadway when they were in High School. However, lots of gay guys have no idea what Wicked is, unless if it’s describing a Bostonian’s way of saying something is cool. Lots of straight guys like watching Broadway, too. It’s just a crazy world of people walking down the street and breaking out into song. 

Other and similar gay stereotypes:

This is an episode from "Glee." In the episode, Kurt, who is homosexual, doesn't feel comfortable opening up to his dad, so he joins the football team. He teaches the team the dance to "Single Ladies," and this is how they end up winning the game. 

Same Love Lyrics- Macklemore
When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,

'Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.

I told my mom, tears rushing down my face

                   She's like "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k, trippin'.

"Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she?

Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.

I remember doing the math like, 

"Yeah, I'm good at little league."

A preconceived idea of what it all meant 

For those that liked the same sex

Had the characteristics

This is an episode from "The Office." Pam discovers Oscar, her homosexual co-worker, has a crush on a man from the warehouse.

Episode from "The Office"

"Key and Peele, Gay Wedding Advice"

This was a live Sportscenter interview between Chris Mckendry 

and Atlanta Falcons football player, Asante Collins

Is being a homosexual man and a gay man the same thing? Sure. It's similar to how being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the same thing as being a Mormon. Both are used interchangeably, but there is one major difference when "gay" and "Mormon" are used and that is the culture, the stereotypes, or the "single story" associated with them. In today's society most don't think twice about calling a homosexual man, "gay." But when we call a homosexual man, "gay," are we referring to the fact that he is homosexual or are we implicating that being gay means (like the stereotypes mentioned above) he dresses a certain way, talks a certain way, and likes and hates certain things? Are we like Pam, as seen in the example above, assuming one homosexual man and another homosexual man should automatically be romantically involved for no apparent reason of compatibility or attractiveness but just because they are both gay? Many assume that just because someone is homosexual they know anybody and everybody in the world who is also homosexual, whether it be somebody famous or somebody 3,000 miles away (see "Gay Wedding Advice" artifact). 

My point is that generally we don't see being homosexual as a definition of one's sexual orientation and nothing more. We see it as "being gay," and being gay means that they all have certain behaviors and like the same things. Typically, when a man comes out as homosexual we won't believe him unless he acts gay. It is silly really. Homosexuals have something in common, that they are attracted to the same gender, but in every other characteristic they possess or preference they may have are going to be different, just like we would expect diversity between any two human beings. All of the artifacts listed above illustrate how we oftentimes look for "gayness" in categories. In music, gayness is equivalent to Lady Gaga or songs like YMCA, Macho Men, or Over the Rainbow (Gay Wedding Advice). In entertainment, gays love broadway but hate sports. This is why the "Glee" video is so pertinent, it implicates that someone who is gay can only succeed in football in some ridiculous manner of dancing to Beyonce, like being gay and enjoying or succeeding in sports can never be reality. In dress and appearance it's that gays, as "The Office" and "Gay Wedding Advice" demonstrate, wear women's clothing. It's that they have certain mannerisms like "the pony dance," or that they like couscous and Skittles. There are several cases where society has poor intentions when single storying homosexual men, but I have found it much more common that it stems from ignorance. 

There is another "single story" attached to homosexual men that I find is rarely talked about. I remember watching the Sportscenter interview shown above, live. There were many dissenting opinions on the interview and I have my own, but what I do find interesting is how Chris Mckendry held the interview. Keep in mind that this interview with a professional football player was during the NFL's offseason and there was absolutely no newsworthy or prevalent NFL or Atlanta Falcons information at the time. So it seemed fairly obvious Asante was brought on the show to ask him specifically about his comment in regards to Jason Collins' recent decision to come out as homosexual . I won't share my opinion on Asante's comments, but it seemed to me that Chris Mckendry was trying to make him look bad or apologize for his words. As if we should have the same exact opinion on Jason Collins and about homosexual men. And that is what I think is another single story associated with homosexual men. That we should all look up to them, praise them, and/or even pity them. It seems to have no correlation with accepting them as they are, but to either put them above us and praise them for being gay, or to put them below us and pity their situation. It is mostly done with good intentions, but it is also ignorant. It may be different than assuming homosexual men are a certain way but it seems like a different variation of the same problem, that we have a type of "gay" tinted glasses on. 

Both single story issues create the same limitations and social implications for homosexual men. It pegs them as different, like they are walking around with a big sign that says, "gay." And whether we automatically stereotype them as being a certain way, or put them on a pedestal, or stare down at them from our ivory towers, we can't see eye to eye with them. We can't see their true character. We can't learn from their personal strengths and weaknesses. We can't appreciate their life and their story. We can't really see them because all we see is "gay." All of these artifacts demonstrate the erroneous behavior most of society falls into, ignoring diversity among homosexual men, assuming they all like and dislike the same things, dress the same way, and act the same way. One shows how we see homosexuals, in the essence that we may see ourselves above or below them. But all of them show how we single story homosexual men as being "gay" and nothing else.