My Excellent Adventure

After submitting a complete bust for our last assignment, I realized I needed to shake off the shackles of conformity and tap into my inner self to be creative. And my inner self wanted to go big...all or nothing. While walking out of class on Tuesday, I heard many people discussing ideas for accidental art, mainly because it was the consensus “easiest” prompt. But I thought, why not do all of them at once?

Being a busy college student, I don’t have much time to spare. If I’m going to wander aimlessly, I’d better have some way to tell time so that I don’t waste too much of it. Before setting off on my journey to find myself (and hopefully an ‘A’), I came up with a few possible ways to distinguish time without looking at the time itself:

1. Listen to my BYU Radio App: I have the schedule memorized and can know at the very least what hour it is based upon what show is playing on the radio.
2. The student rush: As long as I’m near campus, the surge of students heading towards campus will tell me it’s near the top of the hour, and any surge away will tell me it’s about 10 minutes ‘til the hour.
3. I-tunes songs: I could listen to my I-pod (assuming that each song is an average of about four minutes) and be able to calculate approximately how long I have been traveling.
4. Shadows: As the sun moves across the sky, the shadows will get longer. No shadow means it’s noon. All shadow means its night-time and I’d better get back and go to sleep.

Armed with several excellent strategies, I stuffed my face with some Pizza (because I didn’t want to carry anything with me other than my phone) and headed out of the apartment.

As I was walking down the road, I saw a candy wrapper that had gotten stuck on some blades of grass. My initial reaction was to tut and lament what horrible manners young people had these days...littering. But, then I remembered the garbage contest in the creativity video and thought...this is Art!

I whipped out my iPhone and took a picture of the wrapper:

This led me to pay closer attention to my surroundings. I was now wandering aimlessly in search of more art. I enjoyed looking at the beautiful lines in the fresh cut grass as I strolled down the sidewalk. However, it wasn't long before I found myself grumbling again. Why on earth do people in Provo find it just as necessary (if not more important) to water the sidewalk in addition to the grass? My instincts told me to walk around the free shower, so that’s what I did. As I passed the wasted spray, I caught glimpses of rainbows through the reflection of the sun. It was quite a sight.

Moving further down the road, I came across a parking lot which clearly had not been properly watered...

From my vantage point, the tar lines looked almost like vines climbing up a yellow lattice. I whipped out my I-Phone and took a picture, despite the uncomfortable looks I got from people leaving the establishment.

I continued on my journey, enjoying the 12th song on my playlist titled “Musik of Babylon.” I approached a red light, but blasting Papa Roach’s “Last Resort” into your ears can embolden you. Instincts told me to stop and wait...but I didn’t! I walked right out into the intersection and crossed the street.

Unfortunately, an officer spotted me and immediately tried to get my attention. I knew that I should stop and go over to meet him, but I the words written on point number four echoed in my heart: “Do the opposite of what you think you should.”

Having come so far and seen so much beautiful accidental art, all the while not once looking at a clock, I committed myself to finishing this assignment and getting that ‘A.’ I ran with all my might. Unfortunately, my body had not yet fully digested that greasy excuse for a pizza from Little Ceaser’s. Acting purely on instinct, I hunched over and created some “accidental art” on the sidewalk.

Officer Cutri didn’t seem to appreciate the fact that I quickly whipped out my camera as soon as I recovered to take a picture of what he dubbed “a disgusting public disturbance.” I tried to explain the concept of accidental art, but this seemed to only anger him further. 

After a quick background check, Officer Cutri discovered that I had a $2 outstanding fee on my BYU Account and promptly placed me under arrest. I started to protest as he whipped out some handcuffs, but he told me that I would have to come down to the station with him unless I could produce two dollars on the spot. Well...ignoring the beautiful pictogram on our assignment prompt, I had left my wallet at home. 

Backed into a corner and with no other option left, I realized I would have to reveal my secret identity...I screamed nonsense loudly in a gutteral, indistinguishable voice and with one swift motion quickly leapt over Officer Cutri and tackled the deranged Harvey Dent to the ground just as he was about to fire a handgun at innocent children. The two of us tumbled down into an open manhole and landed with a resounding crash...

Officer Cutri raced down the ladder into the manhole towards us. I struggled to my feet as he approached me.

“Are you all right?” he asked with a pained look on his face. 

“I’ll be fine. You either get an A on your assignment or you live long enough to get an F. I can do these things because I’m not a hero. I’m just a student in Comms 303 trying to complete my creativity assignment,” I responded in my low, raspy voice, having pulled my handy bat-mask from my pocket.

“We’ll have to hunt you,” Officer Cutri responded.

“Then hunt me, find me, flunk me. I’ll be whatever Provo needs me to be. Because sometimes the truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes, people deserve more,” I said before I took off running into the dark abyss of the secret underground tunnels beneath BYU’s campus.

A young man with a sleeveless shirt, ripped shorts, and a flat-rimmed hat had climbed down during my exchange with the officer and was holding his longboard in one hand as he approached Mr. Cutri.

“Eh, Bro! Uh...like, why is he running, dude?” asked the youngster as he brushed his bleach-blond bangs from his eyes.

“Because we have to chase him,” replied the officer.

“But, dude! He totally just like saved your life, bro!” exclaimed the young man in disbelief.

“He’s the hero BYU deserves...but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll go after him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our mascot...he’s a beacon of hope, a watchful protector...and a very eligible bachelor,” said the officer as I disappear into the darkness chased by vicious pomeranians.

After wandering through the ending credits, I managed to make it out of the underground tunnels successfully. I looked around and quickly noted that it was “all shadow.” Who knows how long I had been out wandering? Heck, I had wandered right into a poor re-enactment of a Christopher Nolan movie. And everybody knows those are at least two hours.

But, because of my journey, I felt as though I had grown a greater appreciation for the small things in life. I also discovered what it would be like if I could re-enact famous movie scenes in the course of everyday life. And to top it all off, I discovered that I could keep track of time without ever knowing exactly what time it is!