Isn't it about...time?

Observations from my living room couch:

• The bananas on the table would start to turn black at about 1 week
• The peaches and plums would start shriveling up and molding at about 4 days
• The ice in my water glass would melt (1 hour) and evaporate (1 week)
• Dust on my television, play station, and stereo would grow in mounds (1 month)  
• The "empty" milk carton sitting next to the trash would start smelling of death (1 week)
• The light bulbs would burn out (6 months)
• The couch would continue to sink deeper and deeper to having an almost permanent crease in it (1 month)
• Greasy pizza box of crumbs and crusted sauce would likely start growing into a lively creature (2 weeks) 
• The wet shirts hung up to dry would become crusty (2 days)
• My toe & finger nails would increase in size to about 2 inches or so (3 months)
• The carpet would be covered in small dust particles (1 year)
• The a/c air vent on the wall would be a dark black color (2 years)

These are my observations!